First, Happy Birthday, Phyl! What a wonderful day to have your memorial service. I had planned to come and even had my clothes out but since I am high risk for corona and numbers are going up again ,I opted not to attend. I knew you would understand. The last time we met in person was at my son Brians memorial service but I will never forget you. We were both young mothers (sort of young) in Whitestown. None of us had much financially but we were all full of love and everything was fun. We spent many hours together just talking and laughing. You were always a kind person willing to help anyone needing your help. I remember the time you drove Brian and me to the doctor because he had gashed his leg and kept sticking his finger in it saying "broke, broke." You were always there when needed. I could go on and on but other people need a chance also. I am certain we will meet again and can pick up where we left off.

We use to play pinochle when we were teenagers at my house. She was pretty good!! She was a person with a great sense of humor and made us all laugh. She liked to try new things. Phil Michael I remember Phyllis when Phil and I were dating. With her red hair and crazy sense of humor she kept us all laughing. We would visit her and her family when her kids were little and our son Marc was small. I sincerely hope she left this world peacefully. Gloria Michael

Phil loved playing Words with Friends with Phyllis. We regularly exchanged Christmas cards and notes with her. I have lost both my parents and of course, Phil has lost both his. It is never easy. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Gloria and Phil Michael

Phyl's sense of humor was incredible. She made North Willow a better place to be! Although tough as nails, she was a compassionate, loving person. Her rough exterior made some unsure...I feel I understood her better because of that. Phyl will be missed dearly. From her collecting tabs from pop cans, to her making a sarcastic remark with that smile of hers, I will miss her. She once told me of a dear friend she had as a child. He passed many years ago but she talked of him often and missed him dearly. I have no doubt the two of them are celebrating that friendship once again. My condolences to April and Stephen and families. She loved you all dearly.

Love ya Ma.

Thank you so much, Mary!

I only got to know Phyl those last 15 months of her life as she lived at Traditions and I am the program director. Phil did have a great heart- she made new friends quickly and was always first to help her neighbors. She had a great sense of humor too! We had fun on outings and watching movies. She wasn’t interested in music or bingo but she worked puzzle after puzzle, especially if that puzzle featured cats!! She loved her kids and grandkids and would brag about how smart they were and how proud she was of them all. It was my honor to know Phyl and serve her. Praying for April, Stephen and her family during this time. God Bless, Mary Evans, Program Director Traditions at North Willow

I've taken a few days to reflect on Mom's passing. No one really prepares you for the loss of a parent. People talk about the range of emotions you feel, but you really don't understand until it happens and you are forced to come to terms with finality. She was extremely generous of her time and (limited) resources. I've joked that she was the Patron Saint of Strays. The term "strays" is used in the sense of people who don't have support systems or are down on their luck and need a helping hand. She adopted many people (and pets) into her life. The world is a better place because of that. Mom was very broken though. She had a difficult childhood, but both April and I agree, that upbringing led her to be the generous person she was. She was a disciplinarian, she was tough. She wasn't polished, she was her own individual and didn't really care if you didn't like her (both a positive and a negative). She was highly opinionated and easily hurt (largely I believe due to the pain of her childhood). She didn't forgive easily and, until dementia ravaged her memory, she didn't forget. The past year has been difficult. Watching a smart, sharp, woman deteriorate to the point of forgetting everything from the conversation we just had to loved ones' names has been painfully difficult. In about 15 months she went from self-sufficient to hospice care. I feel for everyone who has or is caring for a loved one with dementia. It is neither easy nor kind. Our relationship was frequently not what I wanted, I wouldn't blame mom, we were both responsible for missed opportunities. She was (and I have to admit, I am) hard to get along with at times. In the end, I loved her very much. She was a great cheerleader and she never missed an opportunity to tell me that she was proud of me and that she loved me. I think I took that for granted. I'm a better person for having her in my life. I love and miss you ma.

Thanks Mary. It means a lot to us knowing you helped care for Mom during the final months of her life. It was painful for us all not to be allowed to visit her as we would have liked. Thank you so much.

The family of Phyllis S. Dohm uploaded a photo